Its that time of year...Again

I guess I need to say I will see you all next year. I am not sure if anyone even reads this crap I write! I am hearing about all these new years resolutions on the TV tonight and have seen 8394723847324897329 commercials for different weight loss products and programs and all I can think of is the majority of the people joining these programs, and buying into this stuff will fail within 3 weeks. How horrible is that thinking? OH well, its the truth! Most guys see such a huge influx of people within the first few weeks of the year and by February they are all gone. I do not have the answer to what keeps people going, and what keeps people to go to the next year on the resolutions they make. I find that for me personally I really had to make a mental change and really had to want to change. There was a mental change there that was not there before. So here we are on December 31, 2012 about to embark on a bunch of empty resolutions and I have no way of helping you other than maybe some inspiration. Here is a picture of me from December of 2011- December 2012. I am sorry I don't have the answers. Just keep on keeping on and do not try to do too much at one time. That is the biggest thing I can say. Do not go to the gym for 3 hours every day this week or next, it wont work. Just start out a little bit, cut out one thing. Good luck!

Here is a picture from January and the 2nd is from tonight dec 31, 2012

It's Ok to Throw It away

Something that I have learned over this year is that it truly is OK to throw food away. It is OK to pour the sweat tea down the drain that is causing you to drink too many calories. Its OK to throw away the batch of cookies you made last week for yourself, but make sure you destroy them not just throw them into the trash. Pour the cookies out of the bag, or down the sink. Make sure those puppies are all ruined and you cant go back to that temptation!
This time of year is a struggle for many people with weight loss. I read online yesterday the last 2 weeks of the year is 4% of the year, and there is no reason to slide by the last 2 weeks and start on January 1st again. I have a milk allergy so to have cookies made is a special occasion. I have thrown things throughout the year this year because I knew I no longer needed them, and all I would do is eat and eat the food. I am so frugal so my frugalness was killing me throwing out the food, but my weight will kill me first. I am just giving you permission to buy a treat, eat part of it then throw the rest away, it really is OK. Do not wait till next week to get back on the weight loss wagon, or start the weight loss wagon, start today.

Weight gain

I can really see how someone can gain all the weight back. I never understood it before. I always got mad at the people I saw on TV who lost all the weight and then gain it all back. It is so easy to just get into a rut and start gaining weight back. I had knee surgery and its been way harder to get back into life than I expected, and I had just a minor surgery. I had to stop working out with my trainer.
I am so back into losing weight. I will not lose the 100 pound weight goal this year, which is really sad to me. At first I got down about the weight loss and started gaining. Now, I'm back at it realizing its the long term:). One month left till the new year!!

Knee surgery

So had a MRI and the dr found out I had a discoid meniscus. I had surgery a week ago today to reshape it. Surgery went fine, but I gained 9 pounds overnight it seemed. I think I'm holding onto a lot of water, which is very annoying. I am still up today, I hope that I can go back down. Still on bed rest. I get my stitches out next week :)

Knee injury

I had knee surgery back quit a few years ago. Ever since I started working out my knee has been getting way worse. I haven't been able to work out practically all week. My psuedotumor has been acting up crazy. I have had a bad week. I am really trying to keep my eating under control even though I'm not working out, it's so difficult. I find out Tuesday about my knee.

The Magic Dust

Weight loss sucks! It is super hard, time consuming, it is overwhelming, and about 20 other adjectives. I have been hitting many mental blocks at the gym lately, and in life. I am really trying to get my life in order and trying to live life and change it all at the same time.

I have been catching up on my Hulu, Extreme Makeover weight loss edition. The girl who was on the episode I watched yesterday mentioned something to the trainer in the process of the weight loss, I really thought you had some Magic Dust. I feel the same way sometimes as well. I always thought that going on one of these shows, or having a trainer was going to be that 'magic' to change everything. I have learned that Mary is the only thing that has this 'magic'. Weight loss is really is time+effort=results. Nothing magic about that. My trainer keeps telling me that the motivation will come will results. I really am learning how to motivate myself to go to the gym and eating healthy even if I don't feel like it.

I am down to 311, so close to being out of the 310s, out of the 300s...which I have not been out of the 300s since I can even remember. I am really thinking since I was in high school or right after.

Here is a picture of my 50 pound bead :)

Here is a picture of me from early in the year January and to today.

This weeks goal is to get to 30 seconds holding myself on a plank, and doing 30 sets of push ups (girlie style) its going to be a hard week)

Goodbye 320's

So finally I hit 319 today. This 10 pounds has taken me forever, or at least it seems like it. I'm 1 pound from 100 total, and 50 this year!

Everyone has to start somewhere

Went to meet Donald brown with my little brother the other day. He was talking about goals, and keeping your eyes on the prize. I feel as if sometimes it is hard to keep my eyes on a prize that seems so far away, even if the goal is just at the end of an one hour work out. 

Fridays goal was to get to a mile on the treadmill. I have told my trainer a few things I have not been able to do, and always wanted to do. He had me ride a regular bike last week at the gym, not the ones that are more seated. I felt accomplished after spending about a minute of complaining and almost not getting onto the stupid machine. Boy did my butt hurt afterwards!!
Well all week my trainer told me that I was going to do a mile on Friday. There was the anticipation and fret all week, honestly. I really did not believe that that I could do it at all. I met my trainer at 8:15 Friday evening and ended up going and starting right on the treadmill. He asked me about half way through it how long he thought it would take me to do a mile. I told him about 27 minutes. I ended up doing 1. something or other in 27 minutes. I told him I really wanted to go to 1.5 because I was close to there. I ended up going 1.5 in about 30 minutes. I feel so accomplished and proud of myself. My feet were cramping up and I honestly did not think I could do it. I only stopped for a second because I felt my heart skipping beats. My feet were asleep, because of a medication I am on, half of the mile and a half.
Everyone had to walk there first mile, run there first mile, lose there first pound. My dads best friend is training for an iron man this summer, he had to run his first mile, I wonder how he felt when he ran his first mile, Donald brown had to run his first mile at some point, he had to have thoughts of quitting, everyone probably has. I must keep focused on my goals and you must too if you are trying to lose weight.

My trainer reminded me yesterday that walking/running a mile does not have to be done by athletes only.

Mental plateau

So for the past few weeks I've seriously hit the worst mental plateau. I am curious if mental plateau comes first or the physical plateau, or did they both creep upon me together?
My body has not been cooperating, so mentally I gave up, which is not a good combination. I found out that I was having surgery in a few weeks which did not help with all this mess. I honestly stopped writing down my stuff and my eating whatever I wanted. I wish the scale would move, but one day it will. I just started back on it again doing right by what I'm eating, writing it all down, and I'm still working out with my trainer.
Having a trainer is great for my motivation. Keeps me in the gym 5 days a week whether I feel like it or not. I generally seem to feel better afterwards, whether I do before or not. Here's to another week to weight loss... Here is a picture of me in the same shirt from April in the first one till July in the 2nd

Personal trainer-day 1

Ok so first day with a trainer was not as horrible as I thought it would be. I did almost puke on him. I am not sure why I was so nauseous this morning. I am really just worn out more than anything, going and moving for an hour from different thing to different thing is not what I have been used to. I am fairly sure that mentally getting my mind around going back into the gym and working with a trainer is just as exhausting. he did push me pretty far today in some areas farther than I thought I could go. I just don't want to make excuses for my pseudotumor and not work out as hard as I should.
Well, I took a picture of me today it's on the right ( had to compare it to one earlier in the year).

40 pounds gone

Well I finally hit the 40 pounds gone! I'm so glad, finally!!! I'm actually down 42 now. Its a pretty awesome feeling to actually accomplish this. These 40 pounds have taken so long and so hard to lose. Here is a picture of my new bead:) I also went and tried on more dresses for my brothers wedding in October.
The 40 pounds hasn't been easy at all but here we go to the next 60...

Goodbye 330s

So finally out of the 330s!!!!! I'm so close to being to 40 pounds weight loss since January 1st 2012. 91 pounds total!!! I'm Really frustrated in how long this 10 pounds of weight took to lose. I found some old pictures of myself and look at the difference.

Really struggling

I have really been struggling the past few weeks. I went to the fat doctor about 2 weeks ago and I was holding onto 9 pounds of water! Then we went to Florida, which I always gain water sitting in the car for hours and hours, and eating out for most meals. I was so super careful with my weight loss and my milk allergy, I didn't get sick once!!!!

I was really stupid on the way back and weighed myself on one of those gas station scales, seeing I haven't had a scale in over a week I was curious. It gave me some outrageous weight. I got so discouraged. I decided that I am just not gonna give up!

I am back down to what I was at home before leaving, probably still holding onto some water. I am gonna keep on keeping on. Just got to get over the hump and do not quit! Hope you have a better vacation than I do :)

Here is some vacation pics. We went to daytona beach, it was fun and got some great exercise!

I think I've lost my mind!

So one of my dream list goals is to be in a race, and now I'm training for a a 5k. I really think ive lost my mind! I am so excited, but terrified at the same time. I'm still around 332 right now, inching closer to the 200s, but inching. I do not want to injure myself, or quit.

30 pounds lost reward

Finally hit the 30 pound gone!!!! Here is a picture of my new bead. I think I am going to get my nails done today:)

Dream List

So I have been watching Ruby on netflix and they mentioned a dream list. So here is mine

Mary's Dream List

□ Para-sailing

□ Horse Riding

□ Fly in a small airplane

□ Fly in a hot air balloon

□ Fit into a size 18 Jeans

□ Go to Las Angles

□ Cross my Legs

□ Walk/Run 5k

□ Go to Europe

□ Go to Australia

□ Ride a Electrical Bull

□ Wear Heels

□ Have a Job

□ Get off Blood pressure medication, acid reflux medication, and anxiety medication

□ Sky Dive

□ Ride a roller coaster again- Especially at Disney World

□ Lose 100 pounds

□ Go on a mission trip

□ Help build a habitat for humanity

□ Help at Ronald McDonald house

□ Donate Blood

□ Wear a spaghetti strap top

□ Wear a bikini

Goodbye 340's!!!!

OK I am 1 pound away from losing 30 pounds since January 1st this year. I am so so so close I can taste it. I feel like all I have been doing for the past week and a half is getting rid of water weight from vacation. I have my new bead bought because I had kohl's cash that was going to expire and a good sale. I cant believe I am in the 330s how crazy is that? I feel so proud of myself honestly. This journey is no where close to being over but I feel like we are well on our way. The thing that amazes me is the amount of weight I have to lose now is 139 yay!!!  My new clothes are too big on me now and I am going to have to start getting new clothing again soon, at least bottoms.


I got these at the end of last summer from Catherine's on clearance 4x they were a bit big but not this big had to get rid of them...my new 3x are now too big too oops

                                          

Vacation and weightloss

Vacation and weightloss is a oxymoron pretty much.
I have been down in tn visiting family and it's been a wonderful time! I have had issues finding places I can eat that are low fat/healthy and dairy free. Sometimes when I'm outta town I just want to assure I won't be getting something I'm allergic to. I am so
thank for subway!!!! I go Wednesday back to my awesome bariatric doctor and I really hope that I have lost some because I am so close to my second bead for my bracelet!!!! I was given some pictures of the lady I was named after my great grandmother she's so pretty :) here's some pictures of me and my new skirt that didn't fit a few weeks ago

 I wouldn't haven't been able to do this even a year ago to go on top of look out mountain and enjoy life...how much life have I missed out on?

Just some pictures of me in a new skirt I could not fit into a few weeks ago how exciting!!! Oh and I love fashion bug's junior plus shirt's!

 The Delta Queen

The Lady I was Named after

Looking Back

Here is me about a year ago...

and two years ago....

and the end of 2010....

I can see ....

I really can see how someone can quit a life change. I can see how that most obese people fail at losing weight and keep the fat and don't forsake it. I was really sick all last week, I am not sure if it was a virus, medication, or what but I am feeling so much better. I am glad I am back onto the horse and keep on going!!! The weight doctor said that I have lost 5 pounds of fat, but still holding onto water, but it could be anything from female problems to the temperatures outside. I am just glad I get to cross off another number on my chart of fat! I also measured myself and have lost inches and that is exciting to me! I put on my shorts from last year and they fit comfortably and this is all new and exciting...

I went bowling last week which was A LOT of fun and haven't done that in a long long time

I was able to go fishing before I got sick and was able to do that all day, a year ago I could not have ever been able to do that! how awesome is that? 

All I eat is pills

I am really struggling lately. I'm on a new medication that doesn't make me hungry. My brain disease is acting up and I'm on a million pills it seems like, I'm taking 15 a day, 15!!!!!! I am so sick and tired of being sick!!!!!! I havent really kept track of my food since Saturday afternoon, havent eaten much either, or lost anything. I hope I start feeling better soon, at least to get back out riding my bike

Circus Victory

So big news is about two weeks ago I went to the circus, and had an amazing experience! I actually was able to sit in one of the seats comfortably!!!!! I couldn't last year! I am so excited.

 This week I've seemed to gain water because I've lost inches and I'm in a size 24 now!

 I got a cool three wheel bicycle as well.

New reward system and 20 pounds lost

Ok so buying new clothes when i hit another 10 pounds isn't a great reward system for me. I am needing new clothes randomly and it's not really something that seems like a reward, at least for me. So I googled rewards and stumbled upon a forum on spark-people. I ended up deciding that for me every 10 pounds I'm going to get a new bead. So for my 1st 10 pound weight loss I got the bracelet and the second a bead. I still have a few bigger rewards like going to a concert when I hit 50 pounds but at this point, I'm doing the beads every 10 pounds so I have something to look at every day :)