Blindness

So they always warn about diabetes and obesity and blindness. Diabetes is very real. Diabetes in an obese person is very real. Losing your vision while having diabetes is very real. They never warn you of a rare brain disease that can rob you of your vision.

It's approximately April and your eyes start bothering you. You just assume the lights are bothering your eyes or allergies, yea it's allergies. A few weeks of this finally brings you to call the doctor. She gets you in a few weeks later because the doctor is part of the county hospital system. She recommends you to go to the eye doctor within 30 days, which takes you way longer to get in.
Finally the eye doctor appointment day gets here. The doctor dilates your eyes and goes through all the routines. You soon realize something is wrong. They notice your optic nerve is swollen. MRI, neurologist, and lumbar puncture later you have a diagnosis. A rare brain disease. Pseudotumor cerebri. This is most likely caused from being obese. They never warn you of this, only of diabetes stealing your vision. This is my disease. This is my daily pain.

Been hitting the gym...

So I hate to say this again, but I have started hitting the gym again.

My little sister gets married on Saturday. Life has been absolutely crazy the past few months, needless to say,  and financially we could not afford to pay to go to the gym. I am so thankful the other day that my trainer offered me a deal. I was to the end of my rope honestly and about to quit. I really believe God had him text me just at that time. Lets just say I am so sore...but its worth it...here we go :)

Frustration...Is not even the word to describe it

I have started working out again. I eat under or right around my 1800 calories a day, and try to stay  within a healthy life style of eating healthy not just eating all carbs or all fats all day. Low and behold, all I lose is a .2 pounds, or better yet, gain 2 pounds. That is my favorite! I do not think frustration is the word to describe weight loss. I am not sure why losing these few pounds I gained is so hard. Why is getting out of the 300's so flipping hard? I have been stuck here since September? It just gets to you mentally. Don't get me wrong, I am mentally into this. I want to lose weight, I am actually wanting to work out and eat right and be healthy, but why is my body not cooperating. I can once again see why someone could and would quit! I guess today is a new day of a new week and and all I can do is keep on keeping on, and so can you...Good luck:)